Oh, my sweet, sweet boy is somehow 7 months old. I can hardly remember when he was a newborn. I often go back and watch videos and look at pictures to remember how small and fragile he was. He’s always seemed so big, even back then, but when I go back I see how small he really was. To say that I’m in love with Eli would be an understatement. He consumes me in the very best way while exhausting me at the same time. I can’t get enough of him. I long for him to sleep through the night, but miss him when I put him to bed. We are so attached to each other that I worry about him being “too” dependent on me. But is that so bad? I don’t know, I don’t think so. He’s sensitive and loving. He has to warm up to new people, but will love on them once he does.
He has 7 teeth already and bites me a lot. He’s sitting up and rolling around and scooting across the room and trying his best to crawl and gets to frustrated when he just can not reach what he wants. But it won’t be long until he can, until he’s mobile and all over the place and doesn’t want me to hold him quite as much as he does right now. So I try to soak up each moment. I put my phone down more often while he’s nursing and nursing and just stare at him staring at me because some day soon he won’t be nursing and nursing. He’ll be nursing in the morning and at night and maybe for naps. But I won’t be his main “num num”.
I bring myself to tears every day, right now even, thinking about what a whirlwind the past 7 months have been. They’ve been the hardest of my life, mentally, physically, emotionally. They’ve been the best of my life and they’ve been the fastest of my life and part of me wants to go back and do it all again, just to remember it better. To write down each day or to take video each day so that I can remember what I don’t right now. The other part of me is so glad that we’ve made it through the “fog” and I feel like I’m a little bit of the person I used to be, not that I’ll ever be her again or that I even want to be.
I love Eli so much it hurts. It’s the best feeling in the world.
Here is the video I made for Eli’s 7 months – https://youtu.be/V2dymfOQH_0
Here is the video I made for my 7 month postpartum update – https://youtu.be/Fb2tD6_eI7g